From birth and throughout the first few months of life, babies cry often, sometimes for a long time. This is completely normal, as it's their primary means of communication! Faced with this crying, parents can feel worried and helpless, especially if they can't calm their little one.
Why is my baby crying? How can I calm him down? Should I let him cry? We'll try to answer all your questions about baby crying to help you get through this period as calmly as possible.
Why is my baby crying?
First of all, you should know that a healthy baby can cry for several hours a day during the first months of his life. This is his main means of communication and expression with his parents and those around him. Through his crying, he is expressing a request and trying to convey a message to you. A baby never cries without reason. Among the main messages of crying we find:
- Hunger: If he tries to grab your finger when you touch the ends of his mouth, he probably wants to eat;
- Fatigue ;
- Infant colic;
- Constipation;
- The pain;
- The need to express strong emotions: discharge crying is very common in infants, who will release the tensions accumulated during the day by crying in the early evening;
- The need to be in the arms of one's parents;
- A feeling of discomfort: a wet diaper, too cold or too hot, a burp that bothers you ...
It's normal to be unable to decipher your baby's cries at first. Don't doubt your parenting skills if you can't calm them down every time! Over time, you'll become better at interpreting cries. And sometimes, for discharge cries, for example, there's nothing you can do but comfort your baby and wait for the crying spell to subside on its own. If in doubt, or if the crying seems unusually prolonged or intense, don't hesitate to ask your pediatrician for advice.
Can you let a baby cry?
The answer is no! It is not recommended to let a baby cry, because they are not doing this to annoy or manipulate you: before the age of 5, a child does not have the intellectual maturity to manipulate you or manage their emotions. It is therefore important not to ignore your baby's crying and to respond to the need they are trying to express. Thanks to this, your baby will feel listened to, reassured, and safe.
What if I can't stand my baby crying anymore?
Most parents will, at some point, feel exhausted and irritable when faced with their baby's incessant crying. This is completely normal and doesn't make you a bad parent! When you feel like you can't stand your baby's crying anymore, you should hand over to someone you trust or put your baby safely in their bed and take a few minutes to breathe in another room. Once you've calmed down, you can return to your little one, who will feel your reassurance and calm down more easily.
How to calm a crying baby?
To calm your baby, you must first try to understand why he is crying. Start by checking if all his physiological needs are being met: Is he hungry? Sleepy? Too hot? Need to be changed? Is there pain somewhere? If all the lights are green, but your baby continues to cry, here are some suggestions to try to soothe him:
- Speak to your baby in a soft, reassuring voice, rock him in your arms to reassure him and give him a sense of security;
- Provide him with a calm environment without external stimulation;
- Massage his stomach, gently stroke his back, his cheek…;
- Change his position or try to burp him if he seems uncomfortable;
- If you are breastfeeding, breastfeed as babies usually calm down when they suckle at their mother's breast;
- Go out for a walk;
- Do skin to skin;
- Swaddle your baby: Some babies love it, while others can't stand it. You'll have to try it to find out, as this technique can be really effective in soothing babies.
- Stay calm: Babies sense adults' emotions. If you're stressed, it can increase crying and make it harder for your baby to settle.
And above all, trust yourself and don't feel guilty about the crying. All babies cry; it's completely normal, and it sometimes takes time to calm them down.
To your testimonies!
Did you know that babies use crying as a means of communication? Do you have any tips to share for calming crying and soothing your baby? Share your most authentic experiences with us at contact@biostime.fr or by private message on Instagram @biostimefr. It's the best way for parents to help each other and approach this period with less apprehension!
Sources for the article
- Mpedia. [Online] My child's crying, understanding and calming them [Accessed 06/22/23] Available: https://www.mpedia.fr/art-pleurs-de-mon-bebe/
- Junier, H. Practical guide for early childhood professionals: 38 fact sheets to tackle all situations. 2018; Paris: Dunod; 90-94
- Born and Growing Up. [Online] Baby's Crying [Accessed 06/22/2023] Available: https://naitreetgrandir.com/fr/etape/0_12_mois/soins/fiche.aspx?doc=naitre-grandir-bebe-pleurs-comprendre
