From birth and during the first few months of life, a baby cries often, sometimes for long periods. This is perfectly normal, as it's their primary means of communication! Faced with these cries, parents can feel worried and helpless, especially if they can't soothe their little one.
Why is my baby crying? How can I calm him/her down? Should I let him/her cry? We will try to answer all your questions about baby crying, in order to help you get through this period as calmly as possible.
Why is my baby crying?
First and foremost, it's important to know that a healthy baby can cry for several hours a day during the first few months of life. This is their primary means of communication and expression with their parents and those around them. Through their cries, they express a need and try to convey a message. A baby never cries without reason. Among the main messages conveyed by crying are:
- Hunger: if he tries to grab your finger when you touch the corners of his mouth, it certainly wants to eat;
- Fatigue;
- Infant colic;
- Constipation ;
- Pain;
- The need to express strong emotions: discharge crying is very common in infants, who will release the tensions accumulated during the day by crying in the early evening;
- The need to be in the arms of one's parents;
- A feeling of discomfort: a wet diaper, too cold or too hot, a bothersome burp …
It's normal not to be able to decipher your baby's cries at first. Don't doubt your parenting skills if you can't soothe them every time! With time, you'll be better at interpreting their cries. And sometimes, for example, with fussiness, there's nothing to do except comfort your baby and wait for the crying to subside on its own. If you have any doubts, if the crying seems unusually prolonged or intense, don't hesitate to consult your pediatrician.
Is it okay to let a baby cry?
The answer is no! It's not recommended to let a baby cry, because they aren't doing it to annoy or manipulate you: before the age of five, a child doesn't have the intellectual maturity to manipulate you or manage their emotions. It's therefore important not to ignore your baby's cries and to respond to the need they're trying to express. This will help your baby feel heard, reassured, and safe.
What if I can no longer stand my baby's crying?
Most parents will, at some point, experience feelings of exhaustion and irritability in the face of their baby's incessant crying. This is perfectly normal and doesn't make you a bad parent! When you feel you can no longer cope with your baby's crying, it's important to ask a trusted person for help or put your baby safely in their crib and take a few minutes to relax in another room. Once you've calmed down, you can return to your little one, who will sense your calm and will settle down more easily.
How to calm a crying baby?
To calm your baby, you must first try to understand why they are crying. Start by checking if all their physiological needs are met: Are they hungry? Sleepy? Too hot? Do they need a diaper change? Are they in pain somewhere? If everything seems fine, but your baby continues to cry, here are some suggestions to try and soothe them:
- Speak to your baby in a soft and reassuring voice, cradle him in your arms to reassure him and give him a feeling of security;
- Provide him with a calm environment free from external stimuli;
- Massage his tummy, gently stroke his back, his cheek…;
- Change his position or try to make him burp if he seems uncomfortable;
- If you are breastfeeding, give him the breast as babies usually calm down when they suckle at their mother's breast;
- Go out for a walk;
- Have skin-to-skin contact;
- Swaddle your baby: some babies love it, while others can't stand the feeling. You have to try it to find out, as this technique can be really effective in soothing infants.
- Stay calm: babies sense adults' emotions. If you are stressed, it can intensify crying and prevent your baby from calming down.
And above all, trust yourself and don't feel guilty about the crying. All babies cry, it's perfectly normal, and sometimes it takes time to calm them down.
Share your stories!
Did you know that babies use crying as a form of communication? Do you have any tips to share for calming and soothing your baby? Share your most authentic experiences with us at contact@biostime.fr or by private message on Instagram @biostimefr. It's the best way for parents to support each other and approach this period with less apprehension!
Sources for the article
- Mpedia. [Online] My child's crying: understanding and calming them [Accessed 22/06/23] Available: https://www.mpedia.fr/art-pleurs-de-mon-bebe/
- Junier, H. Practical guide for early childhood professionals: 38 fact sheets to handle all situations. 2018; Paris: Dunod; 90-94
- Naître et grandir. [Online] Baby's Crying [Accessed 22/06/2023] Available: https://naitreetgrandir.com/fr/etape/0_12_mois/soins/fiche.aspx?doc=naitre-grandir-bebe-pleurs-comprendre
